23 posts tagged “men & women”

i just got off the phone w/OS, who filled me in on what happened w/the guy she started dating. last i heard, they went on a few dates, she slept over and they spent the next day together hanging out. she was excited for me to meet him b/c he's unlike anyone else she's ever dated, and he also went to her college (graduated a year before) so even tho they hadn't known each other there, it was an interesting connection to have, especially in the city she's in right now.

and then he stopped returning her phone calls and took a week to accept her facebook friend invitation (i'm assuming she sent it before he went into radio silence). apparently they finally got to talk early last week (she's going on a psych rotation, and he's a psych resident, and she hoped he could give her a little feel for what she'll be doing for the next few weeks) and he gave her a "it's not you, it's me" sort of excuse for disappearing. which makes her mad and makes me mad. he was just an ass who wanted to get into her pants, and then decided that, romantically, they wouldn't work out. WHATEVS. fuck that. well guess i won't meet him and we won't go hiking when i go to visit her next month.

good riddance.

oh, and Che left me two voicemails late last night. the gist: "please call me back b/c there is something i want to say to you. something very nice. i know i have called you late in the past but i really want to talk to you. // i love you and can't live w/out you. i don't know if i can get more direct than that. i want to spend the rest of my life w/you. you were right when you said our story isn't over. i want to move to (barely populated state) and start our lives together, where you'll be the only lawyer in town and i'll do [a bunch of things that also involve real estate]. i'm ready now. i want to do this, this year. we'll have adventures and do cute things and do crossword puzzles. we'll have college reunions and [our college] guys will marry [our college] girls. call me tonight. please call me back."

which i did 30min later (after listening to the VMs twice, each) and left a VM, basically just asking him to call me back, but he hasn't called me back yet. sort of surreal. first of all, i can't up and leave. and secondly, i can't do this all again just b/c he's had an epiphany b/c who knows if he'll just change his mind a year or two from now. OS says: "it's just not the right time for you. that's not to say that it won't be the right time in the future, but you have to be strong w/the decision you've already made and etc etc." which i agree w/, of course, but it's so strange. i used to assume that he was going to figure out his life and then we'd move somewhere together. now, it's me that needs to figure out my life. i need to stay w/my job for at least another year, and then who knows where i will go? will i become a practicing lawyer? will i stay in [current state]? will i move to [eastern city]? do i really love Che enough to open myself up to the possibility of him flaking again? WHO WILL PAY MY STUDENT LOANS? [would the kennedys also get me a job?]

what he needs to do is move to [northern city] and be...normal...for a while. and then we can start talking.

SIGH THIS IS NEVER GOING TO WORK. PERHAPS HE WAS JUST REALLY DRUNK LAST NIGHT.

yeah, the righteous anger is on behalf of my sister. it's just resigned confusion on my own behalf. i find it almost a little funny. tee hee. i love being right.

i also love sweaty yoga. i do not love that my annual performance review is coming up.

i told him i love him.

his response?  i love you, so i just assumed that you loved me back.  [wtf?!?!?!?!  what kind of assumption is that?!!?!?!??]

we did not discuss the "in love w/ v. love" distinction.

he thinks that it was the weddingness of the weekend that got me all overwrought...i sort of agree.  VC and BD had a beautiful wedding, and i got to give my first wedding toast ever (well, it was during the rehearsal dinner).  other stuff later, but i am still recovering from little to no sleep and freaking out that Che and i now have to have a talk about the talk we had at 3am on friday morning...

i'm currently on pseudo-vacation, visiting OS and the mother.  we just got back from watching the movie "wanted" at the cheapie movie theater, and it got me to thinking about the mini-crushes i develop on male movie leads.

let's take james mcavoy, for instance.  i never saw that movie he was in about WWI w/keira knightly, so this one was the first one w/him in it that i've seen.  i don't find him blindingly attractive (he reminds me of SSM, actually) but by the end of the movie, i wouldn't have minded having his babies.  honestly, if i saw him on the street, would i feel the same way?

there's russell crowe, tom hanks, leonardo dicaprio, even...all dudes i don't think are terribly handsome, that over the course of 2hrs, i get a little gushy about.

is it the effect of good writing/directing/production?  personal magnetism?  or the fact that i'm staring at someone w/nothing else to fixate on?

i wonder if dudes get the same way.  or maybe i'm just strange.  i'm sure arguing about whose dirty socks are lying around really would kill the thrill, tho.

i don't know how i forgot this one:

7-must be more of a dog person than a cat person.
i don't understand dudes who like cats more than dogs.  something about liking an animal that is independent [read: couldn't give a shit what you do] more than something that gives unconditional love...doesn't work for me.  also, all the guys that i know who like cats are either drama queens, have some serious directness issues, or are emotionally needy/deficient in some way.  i can be friends w/them, but can't even consider dating them once i find out that they are cat lovers.  somehow, it all falls into place.  dog dudes, while they may be just as asshole-ish in the end, are at least more open and honest about it.  in my own unexhaustive experiences.
or maybe i just have something against cats in general.  i hated my last roommate's cat.  i would've sworn that said roommate was well on her way to becoming a single spinster cat lady, but she apparently rekindled a college-era romance w/a hot latin lover and they rendezvous quite frequently.  i guess international borders can't stop their love!

D&G called me tonight, and among other things we talked about, turns out BNG called her to ask about me and MB.  we commiserated and she backed me up on the BNG is bad news bit.  yes she may be easy, but man oh man is she clingy.  and of course, MB is an acquired taste and he rubs MANY people the wrong way.  is an asshole to women he dates, etc.

so even the two friends agree that this is the hookup that should not happen.  take that and suck it, MB!

D&G is also having boy drama.  turns out this dude that she was interested in at her program, who we will call NANG (not a nice guy), has been hot-and-cold and finally asked her what she wanted.  trick question of course, and then he unloads that there is a girl waiting for him back in his home state and then things all go to shit.  even tho she's said quite clearly to him that she just wanted to enjoy the moment, NANG brings up that b/c he's older and more experienced, this is going to be harder on him than on her.  and now he's ignoring her and pointedly making plans w/other people in front of her (he's one of a few people who have cars at this language immersion program, so she's basically stuck on campus for their upcoming 3-day weekend).

i maintain that NANG is being an ass, but D&G insists that he is a nice guy.  i believe that nice guys can exist, but once they become romantically involved, they all turn into assholes.  the ones worth fighting/crying/mooning over, at least.  ugh.

to cap off my fourth of july weekend, i went to see a show w/HMM last night.  he got me good and schlockered, and introduced me to something called an "astronaut": one shot of vodka, w/a lime half-dipped in sugar and half-dipped in coffee grounds, as a chaser.  also met a retired couple who own a yacht who invited me out to sail w/them once i'm done w/all of my thesis and bar crap.  fun times!

i really do believe that HMM was trying to get in my pants last night.  i lost my shoes and he kept rubbing my back, under my shirt.  b/c i am nothing if not good-natured, i pretended that i didn't know what he was doing, and so didn't react to it.  i did call Che while i was curled up in the passenger foot well behind HMM as he drove me home, just in case HMM got the wrong idea.  i have no clue what i said to him.

what i find the strangest thing about last night, is that HMM said that he never makes the first move on a girl.  i DEFINITELY didn't do anything that could be seen as encouraging him, as far as i remember...i really do wish that i had let him stop off and get me hash browns tho.  i didn't recover from last night until about 2pm this afternoon.

agh.  i know that this happens to many 20-somethings, and even more 30-somethings...but i just heard that another one of my friends from college, JMS (john mayer singer) is now engaged.  i'm the one that introduced him to the "more than just kissing" aspects of making out w/someone.  he told me once that i was a turning point in his life.  he also used john mayer's "your body is a wonderland" as a really bad line.  i laughed, in his face, if i recall correctly.

at least HT, the friend that told me, isn't getting married anytime soon.

i know that i'm not all that old, but still, i can't help thinking that i won't be married by 30 and this scares me.  yes, it's a stupid number, chosen somewhat arbitrarily, but as i get older, the more other prospective brides that are younger than me accumulate.  what if there isn't just one guy out there?  what if my desirability is slowly waning?  even if i have yet to reach my peak, i'm all that much closer to the inevitable slump-age and sagginess of body parts in general.  men age so much better than women do.

i'm going to my college's 5yr reunion in a few weeks...if i can fight through the pain of spending an ungodly amount of money on the plane tickets.  there will be lots of married people there, and even some kids.  one of my good friends from college is preggers.  AND SO MANY OF THEM ARE ENGAGED!!!  i am afraid to fill out the surveymonkey survey b/c i don't want people to know that i am single, but i guess everyone pretty much knows b/c i'm not bringing a guest to reunion.  i was going to ask Che if he wanted me to register for him b/c he is sort of not in our class (he graduated a year late) but that would've made things weird b/c it's not like we're officially together or anything at all right now but it would've saved him money b/c he never does things on time and now if he registers he is paying $55 more than i did.

he mentioned the possibility of just being a reunion interloper.  he also is gagging over the cost of plane tickets, but i told him sweetie, you have a FULL TIME JOB.

maybe he won't even register.  maybe he won't even be there.  what can i say, i don't trust him.

and another thing...CB came by yesterday and basically was his emo self for an hour.  he's currently (secretly) dating GirlA who he met this summer, but is still attracted to GirlB, who he met earlier on in the summer but stopped spending time w/b/c it was too hard for them to hang out and not "date" (i think by "date" he means kiss + make out, etc).  he was convinced that he and GirlB could not date b/c he dates for marriage and she really wants to have kids, and he doesn't.  however, he is gradually warming up to the idea of having snotty brats of his own, and GirlB suddenly came back onto the scene about the same time that GirlA broke up w/her boyfriend of 5yrs and became single, the week before Thanksgiving.  so it's probably not too hard to figure out that the reason why CB and GirlA are "secretly" dating is b/c it's a sort of messy situation w/the ex-boyfriend being totally devastated, and their friends in common blaming CB for the breakup.

CB's dilemma: GirlA is out of town for the next 3wks, visiting family, and GirlB has decided that it's okay to hang out w/CB again, and CB is no longer absolutely averse to the idea of having kids.  he likes both Girls and can't figure out which one he likes more.  he's worried that he's spent so much time w/GirlA but yet he's still equally attracted to both that there must be something wrong.  each one has their pluses and minuses, and he doesn't know for sure if GirlB even likes him *that* way.

my response: stop being so emo, and don't date either if you're that conflicted.  or hang out w/GirlB until you break up w/GirlA for her and subsequently have a strange twisted relationship w/GirlB.  or break up w/GirlA so that you can hang out w/GirlB, guilt-free, and figure out if she really does like you.

sometimes i just want to smack him in the head w/a pillow.  he is way too girly *and* girl-crazy.

i don't watch, but i happened to catch tonight's "after the final rose" whathaveyou.

hm.  i see.

that's all i've got.

currently in las vegas for a conference, currently surrounded by asians.

what's w/supposed "nice guys" pretending that they don't have girlfriends so that they can be "friendly" w/me?

come on now.

and what also sucks: that i didn't get drinks out of any of the guys that hit on me at Tryst last night.  it's b/c, in the words of my friend L.A. Princess (LAP), i wasn't working it hard enough.  geez.  seeing all of those plastic and tarty women last night was sort of depressing.  then again, it was probably my fault b/c i was depending on guys to approach me, as opposed to striking up conversations w/the ones i personally found attractive.  too bad that the only guys that were single or had the balls to come up to me were total skeezes, asian or not.

but i did almost get into a catfight!  awesome.