22 posts tagged “jcg”

in a perfect world, all of my friends would get along.  but they don't.

MB is an acquired taste.  i know this.  when people tell me about something that he did to offend them, i can sort of understand where they're coming from.

JCG and BW don't really get along.  they worked at the same place part-time last year, and i've accepted that they will never be best buds.  most of the dislike was from JCG directed at BW, or so i thought.

recently, BW has made comments about how JCG is not her favorite person.  JCG owns a pit bull (who is terribly sweet) and b/c BW is allergic to pet saliva, she hates it when JCG used to bring the dog to work w/her.  JCG didn't understand it, and thought BW was just being immature.  not the end of the world, right?

but apparently, JCG used to stand around at work and talk to another mutual friend of ours about how much she enjoyed hanging out w/me, right in BW's presence, and discuss things openly w/o including BW in the conversation.  sort of rude, but maybe excusable under certain circumstances...

then BW told me that JCG was openly mean to one of the paralegals at work, and told her flat out that she shouldn't apply to our law school b/c she wouldn't get in.  guess what--she didn't.  and JCG said, "i told you so."

now i'm not sure if there is any way to spin that positively.

and last week, JCG told me that she was having a very bad day so i met her for lunch.  turns out she signed onto a [now former] friend's gmail account and read all the emails about herself.  apparently said former friend had been having all these conversations behind JCG's back and badmouthing her.  okay, so i'm glad she now knows, but seriously?  reading someone else's email?  the former friend had given her the password like a year ago to check something, and apparently never changed her password back.  JCG says she's not going to say anything to the former friend, and i support that, but STILL.  it's a severe invasion of privacy.

i don't know how i feel about it.  i spend a lot of time defending EW and BW and another friend of mine to JCG whenever she beats down on them, and same thing when BW talks about JCG, but maybe i should just start telling them to leave me out of it, and i don't want to hear the negativity.

no more guilt by proxy!

so i've submitted what should be the final draft of my master's thesis to my second reader, the subject matter expert.  my first reader is sort of being an ass about responding to my emails and questions in a timely manner.  maybe he doesn't realize that I WANT TO GRADUATE and i need him to sign off on my thesis and all of the forms so that i can get some more signatures and turn it all in by COB tomorrow.  ugh.

this means that i am waiting for comments.  hopefully i will get a thumbs up from both.  and, i'm waiting for my bar results.  that'll be until the first week of november when i'll hear that i FAILED!!!  blah.

people are leaving, and i'm still here in [graduate school city].  JCG is selling her townhouse, and planning to move to [parents' city].  MB and CC are leaving for their cushy, high-paying jobs in [summer city] this week.  they're working for the same firm, but in different areas.  PC was in town for a few days, but he's also back in [summer city] by now.  if only i could pick up and move somewhere random.  but no, since i have no savings, i'd have to take another bar and wait for my results and find a job before i moved.  if only i had the freedom some people have...one of the guys who was in bar class w/me this summer decided, on a whim, to move here after he graduated from law school.  he has no connections here, and went to law school out of state.  sort of ballsy.  or maybe my sense of risk-taking is totally out of whack!

anyways, the plan is that if i pass the bar here in [current state] this fall, i'm going to start thinking about taking the bar for [fabulous state] in february.  YS is headed out there for college in september, and OS will also be there for the rest of her residency, if she finishes the year where she is currently w/no major mishaps.  she and the mother just spent 3wks in [parents' city] while she was on medical leave b/c she wasn't passing her current rotation.

sigh.

it's where OS and i went to elementary and middle school, and where YS was born.  FB and PG are there, and VC and BD will probably move there w/in the next few years.  oh, and Che is there, too.  he's going to be at a wedding out of state the weekend i would've gone to see him so i won't be flying out there after all.

so i'm waiting for him to rack up enough frequent flyer miles to come visit me this fall, too.

not like i think life should be a giant checklist of tasks, but ever since my college 5yr reunion i've been sort of obsessed w/the notion of the "grand trifecta."  none of my college friends have gotten all three, but all of them have made it to at least one or two, or are no where near completion of school so they aren't experiencing the almost-there-but-not-almost-daily-imminent-failure-freakout.  obviously, i haven't attained any of the three yet.

1-graduation from an advanced degree program: still slaving away at the thesis.  and i won't know if i passed the bar until november.
2-a job: i have a full time fellowship/internship for the fall.  it may lead to permanent employment, but it's a nonlegal position.
3-marriage or commitment to a serious relationship that will most likely lead to marriage:  HAHA.

this weekend, i was lucky enough to attend BM and PCG's wedding.  [CG refused to be my date to the wedding, saying it would be weird to witness her ex-boyfriend's nuptials.  i didn't think it was all that weird, but she ended up going to a wedding too.  so did JCG.  8/08/08!!!  i think that the wedding CG attended, the only asian one, was the only one that was intentionally on superluckyday.  JCG's cousin did not provide alcohol OR DINNER at her wedding.  pretty lame!]  it was pretty small, about 75 people, and it was beautiful, notwithstanding the muggy weather (outdoor weddings, in the summer, not my most favoritest thing).  they are both PhD candidates (BM will finish before PCG), so it's not like they have gotten to either #1 or #2, but they obviously crossed #3 off of the list.  sigh.  slim pickings at the wedding.  turns out BM's brother is also engaged.  he's getting married sometime in 2009.  i guess it's all right w/me, b/c he has facial hair and i'm not such a fan.  his loss!  heh.

also, CCC and her husband gave birth to a boy this past week (they kept the sex a surprise).  the picture she sent me is adorable, but frankly i find the prospect of 40hrs of labor to produce a baby to be quite terrifying.  40 HOURS!!!  she hasn't finished her PhD program, nor does she really have a job, but she just birthed a small child.

maybe i'm looking at this all wrong, but i really just want something to redeem the shittiness of this past year.  it's selfish, yes, but after 20yrs of schooling, i want something to show for my pain and suffering, or at least someone to whine about it to.

i have a headache, a stuffy nose, and i am paranoid that i have mono (JCG was diagnosed last week).

younger sister (YS) graduated from high school, i went home to [parent's city] for the weekend and OS made me cry.  YS was valedictorian of her class and is going to a better college than those OS and i attended (we went to very very good schools but YS has surpassed us and that's okay) but is currently freaking out b/c she thinks she is losing her memory.  OS is not ready to start her residency [disclosure: she just graduated from med school] but she's going anyway.

i turned in one hunk of my thesis (late) and now am behind on the next portion.

am stressed out about the bar [disclosure: i just pseudo-graduated from law school] and how i can only go to barbri classes and can't study for it until i finish my thesis (for my other grad school program).

leaving for my 5yr college reunion tomorrow and i haven't packed.  Che hasn't called me in over a week.  i feel fat.

i met up w/JCG today and we had a long talk about all sorts of things.  she still loves me but she's worried about my actions.  me too.  apparently i didn't remember portions of my fantabulous night a few weeks ago.  it's scary.

at least she acknowledges that some of the things that she did weren't the nicest or most appropriate, and i definitely acknowledged that my behavior was stupid stupid stupid.

she thinks that i am trying to find my boundaries w/alcohol still.  considering that i'm 26, this shouldn't be happening.  i thought i had that all taken care of.  sigh.

oh, and her sister's husband is trying to win the sister back now.  figures.

JCG just sent me an email, apologizing for her shortness on the phone.  apparently she was in the car w/other family members, and in the middle of an argument w/her dad, when i called.  she heard through the grapevine (i talked to a friend of mine (friend A) while i was still recovering from the hangover and very upset, friend A talked to friend B (who is basically JCG's best guy friend in [grad school]), and friend B told JCG a sort of telephone-esque version of what i told friend A) about my version of events, and clarified some things.

her recollection of events is slightly different from mine, but does make her actions seem more reasonable.  and she still loves me.

hm.  we'll see how tomorrow goes.

sigh.

right now i am very angry at JCG.  and angry at myself.

i, along with some other soon-to-be graduates, went to an alumni reception at a fancy hotel downtown.  i ended up drinking a bit too much and, after driving myself and CC to dinner, proceeded to "pass out" in JCG's lap.  the extra glass of wine SSM bought me at the restaurant while we waited for our table just sped things up.  i spent some time on the floor of the men's bathroom, before JCG and SSM hauled me out (barefoot, b/c somehow i lost my shoes) and placed me in JCG's car.  when i protested, saying that my car was still at the restaurant, JCG snapped at me and told me that i should just call a cab in the morning to get it.  she drove me back to my house but we determined that the keys to my house were in the trunk of my car.  so, she then tried to drag me out of the car and make me lie on the porch b/c she didn't want me throwing up in her car.  i spent 5min arguing w/her b/c i didn't want to be left alone and i told her i wouldn't puke (i have a delayed puking mechanism).  finally, she drove back to the restaurant to get my keys, and on the way over, took $20 out of my purse to pay for my food (which i did not eat and everyone else at the table consumed), and called and told everyone that i was going to pay for dessert to make up for it.  at this point i was semi-comatose.  we got back to my house and i limped in and fell down on the floor in the living room.  i don't remember much else, except that i spent the hours from 230am to 11am throwing up.

when i checked my phone in the morning, JCG had texted me to say that i owed everyone else $40.  so at this point, i didn't have my shoes, i had no car, and i had no cash to pay for a cab to get back to the restaurant.  and i apparently was going to pay a grand total of $60 for a meal i did not consume.  how do 5 people end up w/a $40 bill for dessert?  by each ordering something and making it the most expensive item on the dessert menu?  after eating my pizza?  wtf.

D&G was nice enough to pick me up and drive me to my car.  and then i bought her lunch, but i volunteered.

now, i'm angry for a number of reasons.
***i'm angry at myself for drinking to excess.  drinking 5 glasses of wine on a plate and a half of hors d'oeuvres (sp?) is a really really dumb thing for a short asian female w/a low tolerance to do.
1) JCG gets really mean to me when she thinks i've had too much to drink.  she bitched me out for getting sloshed at my housewarming party, and after i, mortified, asked around to see if i had really been a hot mess, found out that i had been totally fine in everyone else's estimation, she did back down a bit.  nevermind that she loves "drunk [omphaloskepsist]" and this is the first time i've gotten sloppy in the entirety of our acquaintance.  (and she didn't even see me puke!!!)
2) last time she got sloppy and puked all over the place, i took care of her and never bitched her out or berated her or told you "i told you so."
3) i was going to offer to pay for her meal and maybe part of SSM's b/c of my drunken behavior, but where does she get off volunteering me to pay for everyone?  they each get $12 b/c i ruined their night?  to my best recollection, i did not do any of the following: make a scene, throw up on people, curse at people, or throw things at people.  no one at the restaurant ever asked me to leave.
4) WTF.  $40 on dessert???
5) someone told MB and i don't know who.

i called her today to ask her a question about graduation (tomorrow) but also to say that we needed to discuss what happened last night.  she was on her way to the airport to pick up her sister (the one w/the asshole [soon-to-be-ex-?] husband), so she said that it wasn't a good time to talk.  i guess we'll talk later this weekend.

no matter how outrageous i might've been (and i wasn't b/c no one told me to stop drinking or questioned my behavior until i started feeling ill at the restaurant...except for MB but that was back at the reception b/c he didn't go to dinner), i don't think JCG treated me very well.  maybe i don't remember enough, but when i talked to CC on gchat today, he didn't say that my behavior was awful or anything like that.  i think that for some strange reason JCG is harder on me than anyone else in terms of drinking and subsequent behavior.  and it's terribly unfair.  she is one of my closest friends here in [grad school city] and i would never have thought that anyone would've treated me the way that she did, last night.  i can't even imagine it.  especially since i have never been in that position w/her before (not like it's an excuse, but it's not like she can say that she is sick and tired of my behavior or something).  for someone who has been amazingly supportive when it comes to boy issues and my thesis drama of earlier this spring, i'm just baffled by her response last night.  i've been there for her.  why did she treat me like an annoyance and a burden last night?

some other things that anger me:
1) my mother and OS will not be coming to graduation tomorrow, b/c OS is supposed to graduate from her graduate program on sunday and is still working to finish everything up.  they are definitely not coming to my first (morning) graduation ceremony, but might be able to make it to the ceremony for my second graduate degree.  i know that OS is working as hard as she can and has severe obstacles to overcome, but i can't help but think that my mother has placed OS first for so long now.  yes, i'm a horrible person for saying this.  at least i'm not vocalizing it to anyone.
2) CB and RND are too cuddly for a couple that is no longer a couple.  it's ridiculous.  and he invited the other girl over to hang out again!  at least it wasn't my house this time.  it was BW and her fiance's house.  CB is just an emotionally manipulative jerk and i am getting more and more fed up w/him.
3) no matter how much i want it to happen, i am still not officially graduating this may.  i'm afraid that i will end up breaking into tears at some point tomorrow, during one or both of the ceremonies, as the frustration gets to be too much.

it never ceases to amaze me how people can manage to hurt one another so deeply, whether consciously or unconsciously.

i'm at a 24hr coffeeshop w/JCG, cramming for finals.  i was studying at home in my jammies (read: undies) when she asked me to come keep her company b/c she was upset and couldn't focus.  turns out her brother-in-law has just left her sister.  the story isn't all that juicy, just sad.  he came home 2wks ago and told her he didn't love her.  she told him they needed to go see a marriage counselor, stat.  he said there wasn't anyone else, and they had the same argument about counseling every day for a week (he said he wouldn't go, but then by the end of the day, would agree), and then turns out there was someone else, a friend of hers, through church.  THROUGH CHURCH.  they apparently haven't slept together yet, but JCG doesn't believe that her brother-in-law is telling the truth on that one.

JCG comes from a rather conservative family.  apparently there is only one divorce on either side of her family, and the divorcee is somewhat of a black sheep.  the sister is not going to try to fight for the marriage, the brother-in-law has already said that she can have the dogs, they are going to file for a fault divorce.  they've been married for two years.  this was after an off-and-on relationship (JCG has spent the last two years trying to like the brother-in-law, b/c he treated the sister so badly...he apparently swore up and down to JCG that he would not hurt her sister, etc.  i guess you really can't trust that a guy who would say that, would keep his word, you know?).

how does this happen?  the sister picked up and moved to a different state for the brother-in-law.  she's a lawyer, so it's not like she could've gotten another job quickly.  she had to take the bar exam.  they have a house together (turns out the brother-in-law's parents gave them enough money to buy the house outright when they moved, so there is no mortgage at least, just really high property taxes).  they have dogs together...which isn't the same as having kids, but he's already signed off on an agreement that she drafted, saying he doesn't want anything to do w/them.

the sister is coming for graduation next weekend.  so is the brother-in-law's mother, b/c she is really close to JCG's family.  no one knows about this situation yet, except JCG and another one of JCG and the sister's really close friends, who is a grad student in another state but who is also flying in for graduation.

so what happens now?  the sister is going to have to tell her mother-in-law.  she is going to have to tell her parents.

life is messy.  sometimes it really sucks.

academically speaking.

so yesterday, my first and second readers for my thesis told me they would need more time for a first draft, and so i am officially not graduating this spring.  i'm graduating in august (if i finish my thesis), instead.

understandably disappointed, i was.  but i was expecting it.

what i wasn't expecting was for my first reader to then accuse me of attempting to self-plagiarize my own work.  i thought i had made it clear that my thesis would be an expansion of a paper i wrote for my second reader, and so the thesis would include my method of analysis and the case study from my first paper.  apparently i was wrong.  i thought my proposal and my emails had been clear.  i have an email from my first reader purporting to give me permission to include prior work in my thesis.

i am currently trying to meet w/the [grad school] writing instructor, to see if i can rework the portions of my first paper that i was intending on using for my thesis.  she hasn't responded.  tomorrow i plan to talk to the graduate adviser about switching first readers if i can't figure out a way to write the paper i want, the paper i told my first reader i was going to write, the paper which he approved.

i will just have to take this all as a learning experience, and take comfort in the fact that i have been nothing but professional and honest and forthcoming in my dealings w/my now-asshole-first reader.

and i'm proud of myself for not calling Che yesterday when i was underslept, overly emotional, blubbering, and upset.  to tell the truth, i didn't even think of him until later on in the evening; by the time he called me i had pretty much calmed down.  the first person i did call?  MB.  he was as supportive as someone w/emotional issues can be.  he told me to suck it up.  then i talked to EW and TP.  and AA.  and JCG came over and got me to drink beer and eat brisket and onion rings.  D&G told me that my first reader has accused other students (unjustly) of plagiarism.  maybe it's just his thing.

sigh.  is this what real life is going to be like, w/douchebag supervisors and rude emails left and right?  maybe the worst part about this is that i actually picked my readers.  i suppose if i had multiple job offers (ha!) i would be picking my supervisors, wouldn't i?

that's one way to ruin a relationship.  sometimes i wonder how seriously i can take Che.  if i really up and moved to [fabulous city], never mind that i would be overly qualified and wouldn't take the job in a million years unless i had 4 starving mouths to feed or was in some equally dire strait, would he actually hire me?  he told me my options were either dockworker in his building, or his secretary.  the secretary position would require a lot of "extra attention" and lots of high heels.  riiiight.   at least i can bank on his attraction to me.  when we go to our 5yr college reunion this summer, he intends for us to have lots of the funny business.  he's getting really excited about the prospect of getting sweaty and making lots of noise on on of those lovely twin XL mattresses in the dorms.  i told him if he wants it, he should reserve a room, b/c i sure as heck won't.  maybe we can try to hit the whole "10 places you should have sex before you leave [the alma mater]" list.

EW was right.  even tho this has been a semester of unrelenting rejection, i'm not really 0 for 948576 jobs.  i'm actually 1 for 948577.  even tho i am not getting lovin in the professional development arena, there have been no shortage of boys in love w/me.  ha.

for aunt flo.  i am an idiot, and it took ms. virginal sweetness, CG herself, to tell me that birth control pills don't start working until after the first full month you take them.  [edit: upon JCG's expert advice, i went and read the actual instructions for my birth control pills and it's only 7 days.]  well that's only part of the reason why i'm an idiot.  i went off the pill in november, after CS and i stopped seeing each other, b/c i didn't see any funny business in my future.  except that then there was TR and Che and NM and many other guy possibilities, and i kept forgetting to go back on the pill.

so i've played this game where i announce to CG and JCG that "there is no bun in the oven" every time my period starts.  this time i cracked CG up b/c i told her that i would not be birthing any baby shoe salesmen.  but honestly, i think i'd have an abortion.  wow.  it's weird to see that in print.  and this is me being overly paranoid, since there is always a condom present.

but tomorrow is sunday and i am DEFINITELY going back on the pill.  or is it a week from now?  i'm confused.