10 posts tagged “bm”

not like i think life should be a giant checklist of tasks, but ever since my college 5yr reunion i've been sort of obsessed w/the notion of the "grand trifecta."  none of my college friends have gotten all three, but all of them have made it to at least one or two, or are no where near completion of school so they aren't experiencing the almost-there-but-not-almost-daily-imminent-failure-freakout.  obviously, i haven't attained any of the three yet.

1-graduation from an advanced degree program: still slaving away at the thesis.  and i won't know if i passed the bar until november.
2-a job: i have a full time fellowship/internship for the fall.  it may lead to permanent employment, but it's a nonlegal position.
3-marriage or commitment to a serious relationship that will most likely lead to marriage:  HAHA.

this weekend, i was lucky enough to attend BM and PCG's wedding.  [CG refused to be my date to the wedding, saying it would be weird to witness her ex-boyfriend's nuptials.  i didn't think it was all that weird, but she ended up going to a wedding too.  so did JCG.  8/08/08!!!  i think that the wedding CG attended, the only asian one, was the only one that was intentionally on superluckyday.  JCG's cousin did not provide alcohol OR DINNER at her wedding.  pretty lame!]  it was pretty small, about 75 people, and it was beautiful, notwithstanding the muggy weather (outdoor weddings, in the summer, not my most favoritest thing).  they are both PhD candidates (BM will finish before PCG), so it's not like they have gotten to either #1 or #2, but they obviously crossed #3 off of the list.  sigh.  slim pickings at the wedding.  turns out BM's brother is also engaged.  he's getting married sometime in 2009.  i guess it's all right w/me, b/c he has facial hair and i'm not such a fan.  his loss!  heh.

also, CCC and her husband gave birth to a boy this past week (they kept the sex a surprise).  the picture she sent me is adorable, but frankly i find the prospect of 40hrs of labor to produce a baby to be quite terrifying.  40 HOURS!!!  she hasn't finished her PhD program, nor does she really have a job, but she just birthed a small child.

maybe i'm looking at this all wrong, but i really just want something to redeem the shittiness of this past year.  it's selfish, yes, but after 20yrs of schooling, i want something to show for my pain and suffering, or at least someone to whine about it to.

CG, sweet girl that she is, is finally shacking up w/this dude we'll call "the Beebs", as he is moving to [parents' [and CG's] city] after the bar.  they hooked up for the first time at their journal banquet, spring of 2007, and have been haphazardly hooking up ever since.  i am so happy for her!  i told her tonight that i am excited to finally be living vicariously through her, and not vice versa.  but i guess the next 3wks will be sort of slow, as he is currently taking his bar trip to Thailand.  of course, that means CG should find ass from another source to keep me entertained!

in other "i am miserable this summer b/c i am working on my thesis and probably won't graduate and probably failed the bar that i took last week that sucked ASS" news, BM is having his bachelor party tonight.  i wanted to go, b/c i've never been to a bachelor party, but also b/c BM's younger brother is sort of hot.  there is no way that i can proposition him at the wedding on friday, but after a long night of bar-hopping, who knows what is possible?  this is all assuming that said younger brother is currently single.  he was when CG and BM were going out, but that was a while ago.

the fact that i am a girl and wasn't openly invited would probably be another hurdle, independent of my goddamn thesis.  i think of myself as a dude's gal, tho, in terms of being able to get along w/guys just as well as girls, so that's why i should've been invited!  would've made things awkward b/c TR would've been there, and he still has this tendency to randomly stare at me every now and then, i guess.  okay, so i took one for the team by not going.  that's how i will console myself.

the high point of my evening: discussing pre-mixed pb and j w/Che on the phone.  i wonder if that stripey smucker's stuff is still being made?

how long until you're supposed to know if the other person is "the one"?

BL + GL: met during their freshman year of college, fall 1999.  GL had a long-distance girlfriend that he broke up w/for about 2 days, after he kissed BL.  then he called his girlfriend back, guilt-stricken, and the girlfriend kept him on a very short leash for the next two, almost three years.  he wasn't allowed to talk to BL, had daily scheduled AIM chats and phone calls w/the girlfriend, etc.  BL + GL finally started dating senior year, fall 2002.  after graduation, they moved in together and got engaged, christmas 2007.  wedding, september 2008.  JD + probable MBA.

VC + BD: met during his 2L year of law school, her 1L year of law school, fall 2005.  stayed friends for a while and finally hooked up for the first time, new year's 2006-2007.  he broke up w/the girl he was dating sometime later that month, and the two of them officially started dating at the end of january 2007.  he moved in w/her and me in [summer city], while he studied for the bar, and they got engaged, august 2007.  wedding, september 2008.  JD + JD.

AO + his girlfriend: met each other on match.com, january 2008.  he's a strange one, but somehow was able to juggle 3 women at once, but he let the other two go soon after meeting said girl.  he went on a 2wk trip to thailand in february, started dating girl officially in early march.  they moved in together may 2008.  masters + ?

BM + PCG: went on their first date, october 2006.  apparently they were the only 2 single people in their department and so it was natural that they would date.  moved in together july 2007, got engaged july 2007, wedding july 2008. masters + expected PhD + masters + expected PhD.

my friend Chocolate Chip Cookie (CCC) + her husband: met while she was on break, either thanksgiving or winter break, our senior year of college, 2002.  i honestly don't remember exactly when they got engaged, but i dragged my heels and got measured for my bridesmaid's dress february 2005, which means she probably asked me to be her bridesmaid in october or november 2004.  wedding, july 2005.  masters + expected PhD + probable masters.

a friend from law school + her husband: started HS together, and then she moved out of state and graduated somewhere else.  didn't keep in touch during college, but they ended up at a wedding of a mutual friend sometime during 2L summer, 2006.  started dating long distance fall 2006, he moved to [grad school city], she graduated and they moved in together in yet another state (for her new job) and they got engaged fall 2007.  wedding june 2008, they now live in the state they started out in, as he is going to med school in the fall.  i would've been at the wedding except that it was the same weekend as the college reunion.  JD  + projected MD.

so, apart from BL + GL, it's been less than a year for all of these happy couples from first date to some sort of serious decision.  maybe all of these relationships won't last.  but still, will things really be that fast?  maybe it's a function of how driven my group of friends are.  hm.  every relationship involves at least 2 graduate degrees, w/the exception of GL (he is planning on going to business school in the next two years) and AO's girlfriend.

***EDIT: i got CCC's dates wrong.  corrected above.

at some point last night, even tho i had resolved to not engage in any more funny business w/TR, we did do so, and then again this morning...i've got to stop this.

also, in the course of conversation, he revealed that he really likes me, doesn't date more than one girl at a time, is "getting older" and so only dates girls he sees some possibility of future stuff (like marriage and kids) w/, and feels "really good" about us.

uh oh.

somehow he hasn't asked me to express my feelings on any of those things.  no vice versa.  b/c if he did i, in the interest of honesty, would say that i:
-like him but not enough and it's just that i have no willpower when it comes to funny business that causes me to continue doing it w/him
-can and am dating more than one person at a time
-do not really see a future w/him, and
-am trying to figure out how to let him down gently and still remain friends and be his date to BM and PCG's wedding in august.

last night, Che called and left me multiple voicemail messages b/c he couldn't understand why i wasn't answering my phone.  i ended up calling him back (i was at a concert w/EW) and was still on the phone w/him when TR showed up...awkward.  TR bought a toothbrush on his way over last night (but no condoms!!!)  and before he left this morning i told him that he should take it w/him b/c it would be weird if he left it here.  i am going to a wedding w/MB later today, and am still crossing my fingers that i will somehow end up going home w/SSM.  he carries magnums around, and from past experience i know that he looks totally hot in his tiny boxer briefs.

why can't Che hurry up and say he wants me to be his, exclusively, again?  it would make things so much easier.  i guess he doesn't know to ask.  and who knows if he would if he *did* know.  i was talking to CG about Che last week, and she revealed that last time she had lunch w/a mutual friend/acquaintance of ours, he ended up kissing her goodbye in the parking lot, so she kissed him back, and they ended up in a makeout session in the parking lot that involved him grabbing her ass.  this was a sunday afternoon, in public.  she can't help the fact that she can't keep her hands off of him.  i guess Che is the same for me (at least in public; in private i really have no control over my animal urges, apparently).

b/c i have a tendency to overanalyze things...

...and i need something to keep my mind off of OS...she had two seizures this morning...

JCG's father happens to have gone to [same grad school program as me and JCG] w/TR, in [neighboring state to the north].  they both graduated this december.  even more coincidentally, JCG's father was TR's landlord (TR lived in his basement).  and i was the one who figured it out last year, way before i met TR, b/c i am oh so clever.

but being oh so clever in some ways also makes me freak out in others.  the reason why TR and i didn't get together last night was b/c i was under the impression that he had my phone number and he was going to call me.  he had asked for my number on friday night, after we had gone downtown w/a group of people to hear a band and we had done some family-friendly cuddling and hand holding during the show...we made pseudo-plans for saturday night.  i put his number in my phone and called him, so that he would have my number stored.  turns out that maybe i didn't let the phone ring long enough for it to register, and he didn't end up calling me last night.  i left [neighboring city] later than planned, and said what the hell and called TR when i was halfway home.  he didn't have my phone number so he couldn't call me, and said he had been waiting for me to call.  we decided to reschedule for another night.  OS told me to maybe keep my pants on (hah) this time around and see where things went.

but couldn't he have gotten my number from BM if he really cared? or is he playing games?  or not too invested (well i guess it's hard to be invested if he hasn't even tried to kiss me yet...just some cuddlage and hand holding)?  he got back from [neighboring state to the north] in mid-december, and had been dating some girl for a week or two by the time i met him on new year's eve--basically, once he got home.  BM was expecting him to bring said girl to his party.  when i saw him again a week and a half after that, he wasn't dating that girl anymore (altho i only learned this after the fact) and was showing some interest in me (truth be told, he was showing interest on new year's eve).

i was discussing friday night's events and the subsequent phone call w/JCG earlier today, and we talked through some of the weirdness and she revealed that she's always found TR a little...smooth.  this is from knowing TR through her father, and not through my social group here in [current city].  i wonder if his communications w/me have been calculated and orchestrated well in advance, or am i giving him too much credit?  wouldn't BM have warned me?  maybe he doesn't talk about relationships w/TR...but he knew enough about the girl TR had been dating in december to expect to see her at his party.  maybe it is bros before hos...but i asked BM on friday while we were at the show if TR liked me and BM gave me an emphatic yes.

i'm probably overthinking this.  well, he and a passel of other people are invited to my housewarming party this friday.  he's coming "w/bells on".  we'll see if i'll see him before that, and maybe i'll get some kissy-face.  whoopee.  at least TR is making Che jealous...i sent Che that picture from new year's eve and a few others from other social events b/c he wanted a picture of me and i still don't have my replacement camera (x2).  he makes a point to refer to TR by his shirt as "Dr. Pepper Guy" every time he looks at the picture.  time's running out, Che...

three ways:

1) OS is going into surgery on monday to remove the tumor in her brain.  i'm more freaking out about the fact that i'm not freaking out, than anything else.  i don't want to think about the fact that there could be serious complications or than she might die.  i can't accept that at all.  i'm numb about it.  So far, I blurted it out to BM and AO, and i've told Che, my friend Elle Woods (EW), my friend Tapioca Pudding (TP), MB, and JCG.

2) turns out TR does like me.  we're going on a date tomorrow night.  i feel like i'm almost cheating on Che.  Che wants to send OS flowers in the hospital, even tho he's never met her before.  he said that he'd put something special in for me too.  TR is tall and cute and very nice but i'm scared.  he knows next to nothing about me, and definitely doesn't know about OS.

3) i caved and didn't actually not answer the phone.  Che and i are still talking.  he says that he's been very busy and he's been looking at tickets every day at work (he doesn't have internet at home) but hasn't gotten around to purchasing tickets.  i told him he couldn't come this weekend, b/c i was going to a show on friday.  and turns out i'll be going to [neighboring city] anyways, to visit OS before she goes into surgery.  he called me today just so that he could hear my voice, after i instant messaged him about OS.

where is my life going?

Che's coming to visit, either in 2wks or 4.  he promised to tell me by the end of the day tomorrow when it would be.  all i did was ask him when he was coming to see me.  i guess his self-improvement kick is really working.

i am supposed to be throwing myself a housewarming party, sometime soon, but 6mos late.

i received my first email from TR this morning, as he was inquiring about the date of said housewarming party, and to make sure that he's still invited (i extended him an invite one night last week, when i was maybe rather drunk.).  CG gives TR two thumbs up.  she says that he is a "funny and charming" guy.  that's quite a recommendation from her.

problem is, 2wks from now is when i was planning on going to a concert w/BM and TR.  it was also the actual original intended weekend for my party, but BM whined so much that i agreed to change it.  the band we're going to see is playing shows both friday and saturday nights, and BM is going to both; he makes a point to find this band and hear them whenever he's in europe (1x or 2x a year).  TR was planning on going to see the band one night, and come to my party the other, hence the email he sent.

4wks from now would be the weekend after said [rescheduled] party.  if i'm lucky, something will happen between me and TR.  i do not think Che is intending this to be a platonic visit, and it's been made pretty clear that he would not be happy sharing me w/someone else.

i am probably counting my chickens before they hatch, but...

for maximum possible drama and hijinks, i suppose i could push my party back another week, to coincide w/Chinese New Year *and* Che's visit.  in that case it'd be interesting to see if anyone mentions the fact that my last totally awesome housewarming party (oct 2006) was also an "i broke up w/Che and i'm going to drink so you might as well keep me from drinking alone" party.  a good time was had by all.  hopefully i will not end up lying on the floor in a drunken state in my cowboy boots this time around.

this is all very choppy.  argh.

so i told Che that i don't trust him and that's why i can't call him, that i don't want to be his emotional doormat, and that i can't get accustomed to talking to him b/c i'm afraid that he'll disappear.  again.  he's done it twice before.  he's been trying to change, be more responsible, be more thoughtful, and i can tell.  it's why he's sticking it out in [depressing city], if you can call it that w/a sweet job and free rent.  oh, wait, he's renting an apt right now in [depressing city]; he got the fabulous carriage house apt 2yrs ago in [summer city].  and he has a similar setup in [fabulous city] whenever he goes back.  he decided that the free rent in [depressing city] wasn't worth it, b/c the owners wouldn't sell the house to him, and he moved.

we didn't talk the night after that, and i went to a big honkytonkin country concert and i thought of him b/c he used to refer to himself as "tu vaquero".  since then we've still been talking nightly, and he's agreed to come visit me...sometime.

but he hasn't called me tonight and i wonder if it's b/c he's zonked out or if he met someone at his hippie commune dinner last night in [depressing city].  do i really care all that much?  i don't want to start w/lowered expectations, the way i've started so many times before...this is supposed to be different.  i'm trying to figure out if he is someone i can wait for, that i can plan with, that i can invest in.  again.  sometimes our conversations just get so...comfortable.  i guess that's what happens when we've known each other for 8 years now.  whoa.

and turns out TR isn't dating that girl anymore.  BM and AO think something's up.  i wonder if something *is* up...

i have the feeling that Che is checking in these days.  i'm afraid that the only reason he's been so attentive is b/c he currently hates the city he is in...i don't want to be the default just b/c he's not in [fabulous city], where it would take him a week, if not longer, to call me back.  and this was when he was officially my boyfriend.  i should bring this up w/him.  this hot asian girl will stop taking his nightly phone calls unless he means business!  b/c i sure do!!!

and the cute boy, Tyrannosaurus Rex (TR), that i met on new years eve posted a picture of the two of us on a social networking site.  yay.  i think.  we'll see if he gets any more posts.  according to BM, he just started dating someone but i've got to be more awesome than her by default, given my zip code.

BM (batman) has just gotten engaged to PCG (peace corps girl).  they've been dating less than a year.  getting married next august, moving in together like oops they did that 2 days ago.  last person he seriously dated was my friend CG (choir girl) and that was for YEARS.

wow.

and i've been daydreaming about having CS's children.

wtf???