baffling

it never ceases to amaze me how people can manage to hurt one another so deeply, whether consciously or unconsciously.

i'm at a 24hr coffeeshop w/JCG, cramming for finals.  i was studying at home in my jammies (read: undies) when she asked me to come keep her company b/c she was upset and couldn't focus.  turns out her brother-in-law has just left her sister.  the story isn't all that juicy, just sad.  he came home 2wks ago and told her he didn't love her.  she told him they needed to go see a marriage counselor, stat.  he said there wasn't anyone else, and they had the same argument about counseling every day for a week (he said he wouldn't go, but then by the end of the day, would agree), and then turns out there was someone else, a friend of hers, through church.  THROUGH CHURCH.  they apparently haven't slept together yet, but JCG doesn't believe that her brother-in-law is telling the truth on that one.

JCG comes from a rather conservative family.  apparently there is only one divorce on either side of her family, and the divorcee is somewhat of a black sheep.  the sister is not going to try to fight for the marriage, the brother-in-law has already said that she can have the dogs, they are going to file for a fault divorce.  they've been married for two years.  this was after an off-and-on relationship (JCG has spent the last two years trying to like the brother-in-law, b/c he treated the sister so badly...he apparently swore up and down to JCG that he would not hurt her sister, etc.  i guess you really can't trust that a guy who would say that, would keep his word, you know?).

how does this happen?  the sister picked up and moved to a different state for the brother-in-law.  she's a lawyer, so it's not like she could've gotten another job quickly.  she had to take the bar exam.  they have a house together (turns out the brother-in-law's parents gave them enough money to buy the house outright when they moved, so there is no mortgage at least, just really high property taxes).  they have dogs together...which isn't the same as having kids, but he's already signed off on an agreement that she drafted, saying he doesn't want anything to do w/them.

the sister is coming for graduation next weekend.  so is the brother-in-law's mother, b/c she is really close to JCG's family.  no one knows about this situation yet, except JCG and another one of JCG and the sister's really close friends, who is a grad student in another state but who is also flying in for graduation.

so what happens now?  the sister is going to have to tell her mother-in-law.  she is going to have to tell her parents.

life is messy.  sometimes it really sucks.